Continuing my exploration of how I project my energy in relation to work since I wrote the last article, I’ve been incorporating lots of change. Last Monday I faced lots of pressure and tension since there was an incident with one of the application I have in charge. It was one of many, and I’ve been involved for so long in this particular role that I am taking responsibility for what is happening even if I am not directly involved.
This was one of the last big pressure I imposed myself and the next day, when another incident began I looked briefly at the mail and I made my decision: I told my colleagues that it was their turn to take care of everything, I had other things to do. This made me realize that I was the one putting the heavy burden and the pressure on myself. Nobody was telling me to do it, and when everybody was coming to me and begging for help, it was only because I was responding and taking responsibility. This decision on Tuesday showed me I could stop that self-imposed ordeal.
I am now gradually removing my attention and my presence from the different activities I was busying myself with and it feels a bit strange, but it is the direction I want to follow. Another indication that I was the one not wanting to let go of all that.
At the end of the day today, I’ve been facing an opposition coming from one of these “old” activities and I felt a strong and intense response of opposition myself, and other people were adding to that direction of opposition. I made another decision, not to oppose and not to compromise either. Coming home, I was still feeling that energy of opposition and tensions, and that’s when I realized that I was projecting my attention in the direction of the continuation of that situation. Another analogy came to mind. Continue reading »
Recent impressions