Arailiberty

This gem is significant today because I was talking with a friend last night about the fact that my boyfriend wasn’t finding any available appartment… each time it’s too late or the landowner says no and so on…

This friend told me that it was partly of his own fear and also partly of my allowance for him to stay.

She also told me that I was delaying my own movement as if my ex was creating my reality, and that that was generating frustration… I got this gem while thinking of this aspect of our discussion but I was not necessarily asking for an answer I just wanted to see what would unfold.

 

“You know already which direction you desire to be moving into, but you are offering yourself ten thousand reasons why you shall not engage this direction, and you are justifying all of those reasons as being influenced by duplicity and your own lack of acceptance and trust of self.“In this, you – in like manner to many, many, many other individuals presently within this time framework – are offering yourself the knowing that you ARE complicating the simplicity of your choice and distorting your perception of this very information, for you are turning this information into areas to be justifying your own shrines and issues – your issue in personal responsibility, your issue in how you may be viewed by other individuals – and you are incorporating this information to be reinforcing of those issues and creating more decorations to these shrines, which is a distortion of this information.

“Therefore, I redirect your attention once again into the avenue of looking to self, acknowledging that which you ALREADY KNOW, and allowing yourself to be moving through the window and allowing yourself the trust and acceptance of self AND the trust and knowing that each other individual shall be creating of their reality in the most beneficial manner to THEIR individual value fulfillment.” [session 420, July 09, 1999]

written by araili \\ tags: allowance, gem, movement

Well Yuki’s post on his blog made me think of my own experience of slowness in my current movement. The previous movement was one of oscilation between different aspects (one job or another, one relation to another), and I even tried for my relationship to create a multiple relationship expression… Well that wasn’t really what I wanted, even if I accept this monogamy belief, I don’t necessarily want to create a multiple romantic relationship.

Now, after the oscillating effect, many things seem blocked or immobile, even at times they seem to go backward. In my work it manifest as a slowness in the new company to make their offer (contract and salary and so on), in the everyday life it manifests as strikes all around the country, and in my relationship it manifest as my ex-boyfriend (who still lives with me) can’t find a proper appartment, either he doesn’t like them or he’s not the chosen one amongst many.

Well these oscillating and now immobile movements make me wonder if I’m in the center of a seesaw, in a manner of speaking… Maybe if I just explore this centeredness in myself, in my own innerworld, I may manifest more quickly what I want. Though I’m still in the process of exploring “WHAT DO I WANT”. It seems easy but it’s trickier than I first thought. It’s not a matter of knowing what do I want to distract myself and make me unnotice the time and myself until someone or something really interesting catches my attention… It is more like what do I want to express now. It is directly related to my intent which is strongly about exploration of expression of self / aspects of consciousness.

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written by araili \\ tags: being present, movement, seesaw, self, slowness