Well Yuki’s post on his blog made me think of my own experience of slowness in my current movement. The previous movement was one of oscilation between different aspects (one job or another, one relation to another), and I even tried for my relationship to create a multiple relationship expression… Well that wasn’t really what I wanted, even if I accept this monogamy belief, I don’t necessarily want to create a multiple romantic relationship.
Now, after the oscillating effect, many things seem blocked or immobile, even at times they seem to go backward. In my work it manifest as a slowness in the new company to make their offer (contract and salary and so on), in the everyday life it manifests as strikes all around the country, and in my relationship it manifest as my ex-boyfriend (who still lives with me) can’t find a proper appartment, either he doesn’t like them or he’s not the chosen one amongst many.
Well these oscillating and now immobile movements make me wonder if I’m in the center of a seesaw, in a manner of speaking… Maybe if I just explore this centeredness in myself, in my own innerworld, I may manifest more quickly what I want. Though I’m still in the process of exploring “WHAT DO I WANT”. It seems easy but it’s trickier than I first thought. It’s not a matter of knowing what do I want to distract myself and make me unnotice the time and myself until someone or something really interesting catches my attention… It is more like what do I want to express now. It is directly related to my intent which is strongly about exploration of expression of self / aspects of consciousness.
Recent impressions